#this might be very cynical of me but I think people on here tend to understate the difficulty of broad political change

[penultimate-step]

My one contribution to the US election discourse is that in the future, I think people of all political affiliations should probably prioritize swaying public opinion more.

I think discussion about using the voting system to push candidates further left, either through voting compromise candidates or through withholding votes to try and force the candidates to listen to their left advocates, are somewhat misguided. In the past the administration has barely budged on many of these issues, so I am skeptical that "push them left" works quite in that manner. However I think part of the reason this is ineffective is that they are aware that for however many people protest it is never going to be an unignorable part of their base.

But people who argue for more direct action face the same problem - any organized movement for non-vote based political change that attempts to oppose the government will need massive popular support if it hopes to succeed. Done by a small minority they will simply be suppressed.

I don't know, I generally find most of this discourse as fundamentally kind of glossing over the fact that a great deal of the US citizenry is opposed to leftist policies. And as someone who supports many of these policies that does depress me. But I think at some point we do have to grapple with the fact that there isn't really a bureaucratic or military way to avoid the problem of 80% of the country being opposed to what we want to do. This is perhaps the root issue here, that we must address. Regardless on if we're discussing electoral or non-electoral solutions I generally think a campaign of educating, convincing, and adjustment to public opinion is a prerequisite to broader change.

[sagigirlie]

Astro observations pt.6

Venus-Jupiter Can be pretty Lucky, attracts wealth, positive and socially magnetic, usually well liked, charismatic. can be promiscuous as they like to try and experience and love to be loved, good sense of humor, adventures, loves food and the good things in life. can be addicted/obsess or overdo things that make them feel good like food, sex, shopping, partying and drinking/ doing drugs.

Venus-Neptune- very dreamy . Likely to have a crush on tv/movie characters. Very giving in love. Be Careful not to be taken advantage of bc of that.

Virgo placements- super professionals. Great workers. Good work ethic. workaholics. Somehow always gives fox-like look or the ones to look like an animal the most for some reason haha

It’s true, cancer placements (especially sun moon & ascendant) in girls gives round big boobs lol. I noticed cancer sun/moon/rising females also tend to have skinnier (& sometimes longer) legs & wider stomach with big boobs and roundish face or fuller cheeks. *(note: I’ve noticed if cancer females don’t have beautiful round boobs they’ll have very small boobs. No in-between- no shade here though haha)

Cancer placements in men are usually tender, cute & sweet and have a vulnerability about them that provokes the mom instincts in female lmao. Might want u to mommy them. But don’t get them mad cause they might not be as innocent as they may look. Likes more feminine girls in looks & behavior. Also they’ll usually be good at handling ur emotions and make u feel accepted & understood. Might like more emotionally complexed partners. Can be attracted to deepness & vulnerability as well.

Aquarius sun man and capricorn sun females will likely attract each other but not workout in the long haul. Marriage will be harder to manage for these two for some reason from what I’ve seen. I think it’s cause Aquarius are more flighty and living in their own world and fantasies, they might even be delusional at times as their more idealistic and are not the most manly as the Capricorn female looks for a more hard working grounded stable and realistic man for most.

Virgo females can be serous bullies & mean girls when they want. There. I said it. (Although they might look innocent).

Leo-cancer influence in a chart can make you want lots of attention and especially emotional attention & they are the more likely to use manipulation and deceit to get what they want. Leo-libra are more likely to want physical attention (also about their looks). they’ll do it mostly by trying to look fire lol.

Aries moon females are psychotic u can’t tell me otherwise lol. Talked about it before but they can be very very selfish, jealous and paranoid and/or self absorbed. Seen it time after time. Can have a very bad tamper and be rude and impulsive when upset or when something doesn’t go the way they want. Can be bossy & demanding. Can literally black out when mad. They can’t control it.

Pisces females might have a thing with girls tryna steal their man ? Not sure but seen it a few times. Or they’ll try to steal your man. Especially Pisces & Aries influence in a chart together. They can be attracted to unavailable or taken man. Seen it happen a lot. Careful cause some of them won’t stop at a red light. They can go after your man still. Maybe it’s hot to them ? Or makes them feel better about themselves especially with the competitive Aries influence and the unavailability that Pisces can be attracted to.

Aquarius mars can really be attracted (sexually or not) to individualism and uniqueness in people. More than looks that’s what will drive them to u. Just watched drake say that and he’s an Aqua mars (like me). The more real and different u are the better (but not too crazy lol). You need to pop outta the crowd for them to notice u more. They can like cool calm & collected people that have a cynical/clever or different sense of humor. The ones that won’t necessarily try to shine (unlike Leo’s- the opposite of aqua). Maybe even the more loner type vibes. Sexy mysterious guy/girl in the corner that sticks out without trying. They themselves can be that person too haha. love funny & intelligent people that can hold a conversation.

I feel like Aquarius & scorpio in a chart can give vampire vibes to a person (maybe looks or energy). Also they might like all that vampire shit like twilight or vampire diaries haha (me lmao). (Also Ian somerholder has that combo)

Capricorn venus can be very insecure. They need to learn to love and accept themselves truly. Stop self-sabotaging urself and/or ur relationships.

[slxtarchive]

𝐢𝐧 𝐰𝐡𝐢𝐜𝐡 … you were having a tough day but austin’s always there to help you through tough times and to show you your self-worth

✧ … you were pacing around your room just having thoughts of what went on today.

were you too cheery? maybe not cheery enough? did they like you? maybe they were talking behind your back. or maybe they did like you but then noticed things about you they didn’t like after. maybe they were being nice to you just to not hurt your feelings.

all these thoughts because you had your first day of work today. you had just gotten the job and you were super excited but couldn’t help but think maybe your coworkers thing you’re too much of an outsider.

you had tried making friends and talking to them at lunch but everyone had their own cliques. maybe you just didn’t fit in — but you wanted to.

you heard the front door open up. the only person that it could be was austin so it didn’t alarm you but you still panicked for some odd reason.

you heard him making his way up the stairs.

“hey baby.” he set his bag down. “why do you look like you’ve seen a ghost?” he laughed at you.

so you looked suspicious? maybe he could tell you were panicking. so that means the people at work could tell.

your silence was enough to tell austin something wasn’t okay and that something was bothering you.

“h-how was your first day at work?” he hesitated to ask. the question triggered the wave of thoughts again but all you replied with was a small ‘fine’. he furrowed his eyebrows. “cmon baby, tell me what’s wrong.” he took your hand and guided you to sit down on the bed.

you bit your cheek before starting to open up. “i don’t think anyone at work likes me. i think they think im weird. maybe i am weird and maybe i should just quit.” you covered your face. “i know it’s humiliating but they seemed very quiet around me; and intimidating.

“baby, slow down. it’s okay to feel vulnerable on your first day, alright? don’t panick about it. they gotta warm up to you. i promise you baby, they’re all looking for friends too. they might just be some of your best friends in the future.” he explained, caressing the hair that had fallen in front of your face. “and if they do tend to make your work life hard, i’ve said before you don’t have to put yourself in those positions. who gives a fuck what they think of you, honey. i don’t care if you work or not ima take care of you. you’re the only thing that is my priority.”

you looked down at your hands fidgeting with your rings.

“yes, i know you want to work but im just here to remind you that you don’t have to and it’s okay.” he pulled you so you were close to him. he kissed your head. “remember, no one else matters as long as you’re okay with yourself and you’re focused on yourself. not in a selfish way but in a self love way. and if they don’t love you — they’re fucking crazy and mental.” he put a light smile on.

you nodded, your breathing slowing as you became more relaxed.

“i love you. you know that right?” he looked down at you.

you nodded. “i know, i love you.” you smiled as your lips connected.

tags: @cynic-spirit

© willowrites

[utilitycaster]

Hi there! Do you think the Bells - and in particular Ashton's focus and indist a bit too hard on the fact that Aeor orb vision will completely change people's perceptions of gods? I tend to think that lot of people who somewhat know history are aware of the fact that Primes and Betrayers joined hands to destroy the city. As for common folk - it would be at also hard to believe that for example they would completely denounce Wildmother who is nature (all good and all bad. Bad as in destructive). I can imagine some folks reaction to this would be to feel scared, but then again. Those are Gods we speak about, not your friendly neighbors. What do you think?

So here's the thing: I've felt some of the depictions of what the average person knows this campaign have been...inconsistent isn't the right word, because, for example, the norm in the Menagerie Coast might not be the norm in Gelvaan and certainly isn't the norm in central Issylra, but also the party not recognizing the symbol of Asmodeus (for example) is something that's always struck me as like. people in the United States not knowing what a crucifix is. Like yeah those people exist - I've met very religious Jews in the US who don't know what day Christmas is other than "generally in late December" - but either we never met many of those people in Campaigns 1 and 2 and met them all in Campaign 3, or there's been some retconning (which...that's a complex discussion as to canonicity between campaigns, since the answer is, ultimately, it depends on the specifics and the magnitude and the source of that information, ie, if High Bearer Vord's creation myth is wrong that's valid because he's providing a specific perspective with plenty of bias, or if orcs were NOT created during the Calamity that's valid because unfortunately myths born of stereotype and bigotry are extremely common; but if Matt's drastically changing previously established truths of the world without in-world explanation, rather than just quietly dropping no longer relevant references as one-offs a la Ladueger, yeah that is bad storytelling and anyone who tells you it isn't is an idiot).

But actually that doesn't matter because here's just a truth about people: a whole lot of people in, for example, the United States in 2024, where 95% of adults have regular internet access, are fairly uninvested in much outside their basic day to day life, just, in general. This is going to be even more true in a world without that degree of information and interconnectedness. I think a lot of people are going to be like "ok and this thousand year old city being destroyed affects me how?" Not to get too cynical about it but think about someone whose experience with the gods is rather like what Laudna describes her youth as being: harvest festivals and wishing for rain. Like, if it's a good harvest this year, will they care?

I don't personally agree with this mentality irl, but groups of people on the whole are frequently resistant to change, do not want trouble, and want to be left alone. I think no shortage of people's attitudes will simply be "why is this motherfucker downloading the Downfall of Aeor Album to everyone's iPod when I am trying to eat breakfast." It won't even get to the point of "are the gods good or bad"; it will literally just be "who the fuck is broadcasting something? the MOON is fucked up? we have real problems?" Like, if people do not know the story of the fall of Aeor, someone being like HEY THE GODS CRASHED THIS CITY BECAUSE THEY HAD MADE A GOD-KILLING WEAPON is probably going to elicit a response of, again, "and I should care about this because? a fucking phoenix is strafing us, why are you doing a test of the emergency broadcast system?"

[raviolirash]

Do you insert any of yourself into your OCs? Maybe some more than others? Or are all they completely different people than you?

(I'm struggling to make an OC that's not very self-insert like)

This might get rambly lol

I don't care if a character is a self-insert most of the time. As long as it's not shit like YIIK where it's Rantsona: The Game but we don't have time for that rant.

I think putting your own biases and lived experiences into OCs is ultimately unavoidable, and each of my OCs definitely carries a piece of me. They deal with themes of not having an identity after years of abuse, toxic parents, struggling to not become bitter and jaded and cynical, being an outsider and a foreigner, a lot of anger. But they're barely anything like me as a person irl if that makes sense.

I'd wager that a lot of popular hero fictional characters are self inserts at heart. When writing heroes people tend to write characters they want to be. And ain't nothing wrong with that. I also think it's great to base your characters on traits you admire in other people. A hack I guess is to spread it out. Take one trait of yours, make it a flaw, and have the narrative deal with it. But ultimately: fuck all the rules just have fun with it.

Here's my children in brief and how I shaped them in case it helps. Under a ReadMore because jesus christ this got incredibly LONG. I have terminal brainworms. Thanks Larian.

Dalia is a fool. A wood-elf druid who grew up outside of society and was never subjected to any cruelty of the world until the tadpoles happened. She completely unironically believes that she can fill the Hells with flowers. It's a character flaw in the beginning, but turns to an admirable strength as somehow she isn't completely jaded after the harsh journey. She is changed and stronger, but she never became bitter.

On the opposite end, Raga is a tiefling thrown out of the city who is just bitter at the world and wants to become a Creature. Astarion seems normal compared to them. People already stare at them in disgust and fear so why stop. Fuck it! Eat worms! Oh no, I don't want to become a full mind flayer and lose more than I already have. I want to live. Oh shit, oh fuck. Make it stop!

Vėlė is my problem child. I don't need to get into the harsh and dogmatic drow society and make this post longer. Prior to the story she had never been given a painless space to explore her own ideas, or question them, or be taught that they are wrong. As a result she struggles with everything. She is always conflicted about what the right choice is. In the end, she no longer fights to survive for only her own survival as she had been taught. She now fights to survive so that she can fight for her friends and people who can't hold a sword.

Then you go from there when shaping their personalities and speaking patterns and habits they have and mannerisms etc. They might be based on me in their own ways, but none of these chucklefucks speak the way I do. And it's a fun thing to sit down and figure out what kind of person their respective societies would spit out.

Vėlė is a master of survival, and that includes a sharp silver tongue that I wish I had instead of being stunlocked. She will make very bad choices with good intentions because she's struggling to fight a worldview that has done more harm than good. She would be eloquent, as choosing the wrong word meant death back home. When in a relaxed environment like talking to her companions at the end of the night, that stiffness gradually fades away as she can shut off Survival Mode. You might actually hear a joke.

Dalia would be terrible at Common, in turn focusing more on giving gifts and practicality instead of trying to form a sentence when it comes to bonding with her new companions. She struggles as a leader, not being the best speaker. She will always choose to make her point with actions instead. Dalia is not dumb by any means. Ah yes. The struggle of having to do 5D math in order to express yourself in another language. That's nice.

Raga is just angry but a lot of that anger does come from an identity crisis as they have no idea who they are. So it translates to the more they speak the less time to eat worms and modify their body. You can't lose yourself and replace yourself if there was nothing there to begin with. But plot twist: there was something there to begin with.

I better stop this post here thanks for reading lol.

[emmtropywrites]

"Flowers", a Baldur's Gate 3 fanfiction. Chapter 1: Seeds

Part 2

Also on AO3

Summary: You're working as a florist in Baldur's Gate when you meet one of the heroes who saved the city. After the first conversation with her, you can't get her off your mind.

Tags: Selunite Shadowheart x Reader, fluff, cottagecore, wholesome, post-game, gender neutral reader, flowers, florists, reader is not Tav!

The bell on the door jingles as another customer enters your shop. Wiping the plant matter from your hands, you set down your knife on your worktable and turn to greet the lovely woman. Taking in her long, silver hair, her short, pointed ears, and her sweet face that is marked with freckles and one, long scar across her nose, you feel a flush come to your cheeks.

“Hi there, welcome to Feisty’s Flowers,” you say, hoping your smile doesn’t come off as too intense. You always tend to overthink your interactions with pretty people.

She tilts her head slightly, her lips smirking playfully. “I don’t suppose you would be Feisty?”

You laugh and shake your head. “Feisty is unfortunately no longer with us. He’s not dead, mind you, just retired in the countryside somewhere.”

“Lucky him,” says the woman. “One day, I hope to do something similar. City life is nice enough, but I need some peace and quiet.” You can’t help but think of how silvery her voice is, how pleasant she is to listen to.

“Maybe I’ll join you,” you say jokingly, but, realizing how that might come off, add, “in leaving the city, I mean. There’s no room for proper gardens here.”

“Oh, and that brings me to my visit here,” she responds. “See, my favorite flowers are night orchids, but I live in a flat and so I can’t grow them. I was wondering if you could make me a bouquet with similar flowers? It’s a rather specific request, I know.”

You nod, having seen a few paintings of night orchids. “If I remember correctly, they’re a darker purple color? Almost blue? Or were you wanting a variety of ordinary orchids? In which case I have a few types you can choose from…”

You set to work, showing the woman the different buckets of flowers you have available, and as you do, you see a cautious smile grow over her face. She asks occasional questions about lifespan and proper cut flower care, but mostly listens intently as you explain what you can do.

“How long have you been a florist?” She asks after you explain the differences between dendrobiums (a genus) and mokaras (a hybrid).

“For a few years now. My dad was an artificer, so I grew up tinkering and using my hands to make things, but I always had an eye for more colorful pursuits.” Memories of your time putting scraps of metal together to make artistic collages make you smile fondly.

“Well, you’re definitely well-versed,” she praises. “Do you have a favorite flower to use? Or does it change day by day?”

“More like mood by mood,” you say with a hint of cynicism. “For instance, if I were to deal with a particularly rude customer, my go-to would be limonium, as it smells like feet when it gets old.”

She laughs lightly, hiding her mouth behind her hand. You notice a small, dark spot on the back, and wonder if it’s a birthmark. However, you’re more taken with the sound of her giggle- airy, but with a sharpness behind it.

“For average customers, I’ll try to use carnations,” you continue, enjoying the conversation.

“That’s… interesting,” she remarks. “I thought carnations were associated with funerals?”

“They can definitely be useful for funerals, but that’s due to their longevity and resilience,” you explain. “Carnations come in a wide variety of colors, and they’re very sturdy and long-lasting. They’re…” You pause, searching for the right word. “Reliable.”

The woman is quiet for a moment, and you hurriedly ask, “Why are night orchids your favorite?”

A look of quiet sadness passes across her face for a moment- a look that you are very familiar with, as customers often come in for flowers to place on graves. “They remind me that beauty can exist in even the darkest of places.”

Now it’s you who is quiet, and she shakes her head. “My apologies, that got a little morose there.”

You shrug. “I’ve dealt with all sorts of things in the flower business. People think it’s all bright and cheerful, but there’s a grounding factor of sorrow, of reality.”

“And of rude customers?” She teases, quirking an eyebrow.

You laugh. “Yes, exactly. So, back to your arrangement.”

The woman finishes choosing her flowers- purple lisianthus, dark blue delphinium, green cymbidium orchids, and various greens- and you arrange them in a clear glass vase for her. When it comes time to pay, she hands over the few silver pieces, and says, “Thank you for your help and expertise. And for the conversation. It’s hard to connect with people in a city where everyone is going about their business so quickly.”

“I agree, it was lovely to meet you, um…” You trail off, realizing you never got her name.

“Shadowheart,” she introduces herself.

You give her your name, and she says it once, before saying, “May Selune light your evening,” and leaving with her flowers.

Once she’s gone, you begin cleaning up the loose stems and petals left behind from the arrangement. But you can’t help but feel like you’ve heard the name Shadowheart before. Eventually, it dawns on you: she was one of the heroes of Baldur’s Gate, who fought and defeated the illithid attack. You shudder as you remember how you and as many people as could fit inside your store had barricaded your doors and hoped for help to arrive. You had never been sure how much time had passed before the streets had been declared safe again, but your anxiety had made it feel like ages.

Regretting that you hadn’t had a proper chance to thank Shadowheart for everything she’d done, you decide to pay a visit to Stormshore Tabernacle tomorrow, to leave an offering for Selune.

[centaurianthropology]

Why Spenser Starke is a Fantastic Horror GM (and the Core Fantasy in Candela Obscura)

So, I have seen some rancid takes about Spenser Starke online. Less so on this webbed site, largely because people around here are not in a pissing contest to prove who’s the most cynical, superior, and dickish. But there have still been some mind-blowing ones, from “he says UM too much” (guess who else does that? Brennan, but I don’t see these people criticizing him), or “he describes scenes like shots in a movie and that’s BAD WRONG” (while you might not stylistically enjoy it, I for one adore seeing a new interpretation of how to narrate while GMing, and think he’s doing great).

But the two that rub me the wrong way most are that he “controls the narrative too tightly” and doesn’t allow the characters to meander too long before throwing them back into the narrative, and that he’s “too harsh” in that even mixed successes tend to net characters damage of some sort. I saw accusations of “GM vs Player” mentality, but everyone was clearly enjoying themselves and the experience.

And that, I think, highlights the fundamental disconnect between these complainers and what’s actually happening on the screen: they don’t understand the core experience.

They have likely never played horror TTRPGs. They may have never played TTRPGs period, and instead are armchair DMs based purely on how Matt and Brennan DM, not really understanding that there are a thousand other ways to DM. But if they have played TTRPGs, I would guess that they’ve exclusively played D&D or its ilk. And I say that because there’s a very clear belief here that empowerment and ‘winning the game’, as well as wandering about freely to create your own narrative at your own pace are all fundamental parts of the TTRPG experience as a whole. But they aren’t. They’re fundamental to D&D, yes, but this is not what players come to a game like Candela Obscura for.

Each TTRPG has a central fantasy playing out. In D&D it’s heroic empowerment. D&D is mechanically built around getting more and more power and eventually defeating the big bad. A good GM in D&D, like Matt Mercer, focuses on giving out challenges, but always helping their players strive to overcome and grow and become better. This self-actualization is at the heart of the experience.

Horror games are not about that at all. The closest to that fantasy is something like ‘Vampire the Masqerade’ or other World of Darkness games, which do feature power growth, but the core fantasy is actually about learning that you are a monster. And embracing power will lead to even greater monstrousness. The horror in games like this is both political and personal, and the system is mechanically built to accommodate that horror.

And if you watch LA by Night or NY by Night, you’ll actually see that Jason Carl employs a fairly similar narrative tightness to his storytelling as that of Spenser Starke. Because a huge part of horror is about establishing and maintaining a mood. To do that, a DM has to keep a tighter rein on pacing, cutting from scene to scene and moment to moment in a way that is more directed than in D&D, because that helps establish and maintain the vibe being created.

Candela Obscura plays, thematically, a lot like one of my favorite games to run: ‘Call of Cthulhu’. CoC is a game all about disempowerment. The power differential between the players and the monsters is vast. Combat is vicious, short, and deadly, and direct combat almost always ends badly for an investigator. There is an entire chapter devoted to running away for a reason.

Both CoC and Candela are built on danger, vulnerability, and a constant sense of tension. And Spenser is fantastic at all of these. He keeps his narrative laser focused, moving between moments rapid-fire to keep up that tension, and to introduce new dangers. He is a ‘vicious’ DM only in so much as even mixed successes hurt. But this also keeps the tension up by keeping the characters and players on the edges of their seats. They are almost never safe. They are almost never well. They are constantly juggling dwindling resources. They are underpowered, vulnerable, and afraid.

And that’s the core fantasy here: exploring fear in a safe way. Being stressed out in a way you can leave behind as soon as the scene is done. Constantly living on the edge, fighting the odds, and knowing that you likely won’t succeed or will only do so at great cost. And he is masterfully keeping that intensity running through each session.

He gives characters time to talk about themselves, time for scenes to play out, until he feels the tension begin to flag, and then he pushes on. He never lets the air go entirely out of the narrative sails. He has a great sense of when a character needs a moment (his use of the red PTSD lighting exemplifies how closely he’s paying attention to his players and adjusting the setting to fit their moods). He sometimes pushes on, gets pushback from a player who wants another beat, and is always happy to give that to them. He keeps the pace up, but is always very careful to make sure his players have what they need to still enjoy this particular experience.

All this is to say that Spenser is absolutely killing it at being an exemplary horror GM. His sense of pacing and tension, his ability to direct action while still always embracing player autonomy, and using the mechanics of the system to never allow them to feel entirely safe are all great tools in a horror GM’s toolkit.

Horror games are not for everyone. Certainly there are plenty of people who only ever want the hero fantasy of D&D, but I think it’s important to recognize what the goal of a game is, and what constitutes success within those parameters, rather than parameters that only exist in an audience member’s mind, because they don’t really get how horror games work.

[donnerpartyofone]

Without saying that AI imagery is categorically good or evil, art or not art, I think one of the worst consequences of its existence is how it has automatically added this Argument section to many online images where lots of people urgently make their smug assertions about whether something is fake or not, often in the absence of any clear way to tell what the truth is. And like if this gets heated enough it can make you (or me, anyway) not want anything to do with the image even if it's otherwise fun and interesting. Suddenly the whole point of its existence is this loaded thing about authenticity and fraudulence without anyone even saying exactly what those things mean to them, and this just creates a really bad smell.

It's like a mutated version of trying to watch a movie near a person who won't stop congratulating themselves for knowing that something is a special effect, and won't stop complaining that the fictional actions of the fictional characters are unrealistic, and won't stop trying to guess a twist ending instead of just experiencing the story. They just want everyone to know that they have outfoxed the movie, they have the superior intellect because the movie cannot trick them into having feelings or believing it is an unedited documentary about real life. But the AI arguments are even more onerous because movies are usually not trying to trick you into believing in a certain reality, where AI *sometimes but not always* is trying to do that. And I really do not blame anyone for worrying about getting tricked, but I do hate that we've come to this point where you can just paint every single thing you ever see with this "fake" brush, because that tends to encourage people to just check out and not give a shit. If everything is potentially fake then what's the point of caring about anything. We've gone from reasonable arguments like "the internet is full of misinformation so take X with a grain of salt" and "everything carries the editorial biases of its creators, nothing is objective" all the way over to like, oh well, everything you ever see is so likely to be a scam that the only correct response to any stimulus is to pound your chest about how cynical and unmoved you are.

Personally one of my main problems with AI art is not ethical, it's just that most of the common, accessible stuff is ugly. I really don't like the look of almost anything that comes out of Midjourney and the other immediately available programs that I'm forgetting the names of, and for me that can only be overcome by a really great and/or hilarious concept, which things are rare. I'm not interested in drawing moral conclusions about that production and I don't find it compelling to listen to people who are dogmatically for or against it. My only concern about the legitimacy or whatever of AI art is the ease with which some programs can make something that is a very close imitation of something from organic reality--and it's not just because of the potential for fraud, which is certainly worrisome, but it can also take the emotional power out of art experiences. I've seen a decent amount of truly weird, exciting AI images *that are obvious AI images* and that doesn't bother me at all. To me that's a right-tool right-job situation and that's fine. I'm more bothered by the stuff that is a very close reflection of analog creations from real life. There's someone on here who has basically invented a made-up "old master" type-painter and they post these images that are sort of acceptably familiar to something you might see in a museum--fauns chasing nymphs, ladies standing in cottage gardens, politician portraits, etc--and I'm not saying they don't have the right to do that, but I'm not sure what the point is. Like, really great real-life versions of those things already exist and I'm not sure why it's compellingly important to prove that computer software can closely imitate what's already out there. Another thing that I find sort of vexing for the same reason is the blog that posts AI images of fake tokusatsu productions. Both of the blogs I mentioned say what they are in their headers, I'm not accusing anyone of anything, but what happens to me when I see a reblog from that AI tokusatu blog is: I think "Oh cool, what show/movie is this from? What's the narrative? Was it popular or is it about to be rescued from obscurity? Who made it? Where can I see more of the filmmakers' work? It's awesome that something this unusual was constructed in real life, somebody drew this up and got it funded and then people built the suits and crafted those cool miniatures and painted the lovely matte paintings, and there was an audience for it, people used to actually accept and even crave really wild stuff like this instead of all the cookie cutter fan service-type crap flooding the market now, and...oh no, this isn't from a show or a movie. It doesn't tell me anything about a certain time period or culture or artist or type of production or the heroic things people do to realize their dreams or anything, it's just, like, somebody's modern, general idea about that stuff. Oh well, it's pretty, but now I have zero questions about it and I don't really care. I'm going back to watching actual tokusatsu movies because there are already tons of great ones from real life and I don't need anyone to simulate them for me, I can already experience the wonder and admiration they inspire for real." It just matters to me how a piece of art was made and when and where and by who, and I don't think that's crazy or backwards of me. There's more to art than just the question of whether something is a pretty picture or not, and moreover I think that if "pretty picture" is the only thing that really concerns you then that is actually OK, but you should just admit that and comfortably recuse yourself from any debates around what art is or is not.

[mbti-notes]

Anon wrote: Hi MBTI-notes. INFJ here. Many thanks for your tremendous insights. Your analysis of unhealthy INFJ’s has been absolutely spot on for me. I can see that I can be incredibly, sometimes laughably, unrealistic, have great difficulty being present, and alternate between too cynical and too trusting.

However, despite knowing about the INFJ weaknesses for several years now thanks to your blog, I keep making these mistakes. Some feel harder to change than others - like the difficulty focusing that, in my case, seems similar to ADHD.

I am trying a variety of things including finding the right mentors to bring me back to reality and hold me accountable, DBT, and improvements to basic physical self-care like sleep. I might also consider getting on medications for bipolar I (a diagnosis I have received due to two manic episodes, although they’re not sure if I need to be on meds) or ADHD.

In your experience, what is necessary to successfully close the gap between simply knowing about my problematic patterns and actually changing them? I am really hoping that improvements in emotional intelligence via DBT will close the gap, and also am trying to be more systematic about maintaining and improving my interpersonal relationships. Maybe it will be a combination of many small things like mastering physical health and routines, realistic goals, the right mentors, discipline, etc.

(From the INFJ who mentioned bipolar I). As an addendum, I just wanted to mention that the two episodes definitely involved some psychotic thoughts and behavior, but it's unclear if they fit a traditional manic episode, as I've not experienced periods of little sleep but high energy. It’s quite possible that BPD is a better explanation due to a connection in both cases with a romantic interest. I just wanted to mention this in case it impacted your response at all.

----------------------

"Knowing" about problems means being in possession of the facts, so it comes mainly through observation and gathering information. A lot of people go through life not knowing how problematic their thinking/behavior really is until they get critical feedback or generate very negative consequences. Even then, perhaps they still can't admit to having a problem and they use defense mechanisms such as denial to avoid confronting the truth. Getting through these defenses can be an arduous process. Even though knowing is really only the first step, it can already be quite a difficult step.

If knowing is only the first step, it means it's not enough. More is required. Knowing is not the same as "understanding". Understanding comes mainly through developing self-awareness, which involves the capacity to perceive and evaluate oneself accurately and objectively. Self-awareness can be described as low/high or shallow/deep. To improve self-awareness usually involves going inward, through reflection and introspection, to discover the roots and mechanisms behind psychological issues.

If knowing is about grasping the facts, understanding is about being able to provide a proper explanation of the facts. For example, a lot of people feel low self-confidence very acutely but they have no idea about how it came to pass or why they suffer. When you don't understand your thinking/behavior, it means you don't know the causes of it, the motivations behind it, or the factors that contributed to its manifestation.

That said, when people know but don't understand their problem, they are still capable of some small self-improvement. Generally speaking, they'll seek out advice from those in the know and try to discover some common rules, methods, or procedures for dealing with the problem, which allows them to become more functional in daily life. However, while they can improve a bit, their growth tends to be limited because it remains unclear whether the solution they've found is the correct one. Perhaps they feel some relief or progress, but it doesn't really seem long-lasting. Why? Knowing without understanding means every "fix" you try is basically blind and random experimentation. If something works for awhile, you don't understand why. If something doesn't work, you don't understand what went wrong. This is one reason why self-help methods have a high rate of failure; they simply don't get deep enough into the problem, so self-awareness remains too low.

Using the example of low self-confidence to illustrate, different people suffer for different reasons. For Person A, perhaps it's because of fear of failure that creates too much anxiety to feel confident. For Person B, perhaps it's because they lack knowledge and skill, so they feel too incompetent to approach tasks confidently. Person B needs to improve their knowledge and skill through learning and practice in order to feel more confident. But this remedy isn't going to work for Person A. Regardless of how knowledgeable or skilled Person A is, they will continue to fear failure, because it is an entirely separate issue that remains unaddressed by Person B's remedy. If you were looking to the above two cases for inspiration, you wouldn't get very far without knowing YOUR individual reasons for suffering low self-confidence.

It sounds like you are still in the stage of knowing - gathering the facts about your issues in order to name/label them correctly. It's good you've gotten some practical advice for managing your issues. Using the INFJ functional stack to frame the issues also seems to have been helpful for improving your self-awareness. However, what I'm still not seeing is true understanding. You haven't yet discovered the underlying causes/mechanisms and aren't able to provide an accurate and objective explanation of why you suffer from these issues. In short, it's just harder to solve a problem when you don't know the cause or how it arose.

This is probably one reason why you're running into difficulty with getting clear official diagnoses. People often view an official diagnosis as "the answer", but oftentimes the label is just a way to describe a particular set of symptoms. It doesn't reveal enough about what's really going on underneath the surface. The process of talk therapy ought to be aimed at making better sense of the symptoms, so it's important to pair any pharmaceutical interventions with talk therapy.

I never want to discourage people from self-improvement. I appreciate your willingness to seek out answers. You asked me what might be lacking in your approach and I've given you my best guess. You've focused a lot on "doing" and "following", implementing some commonsense strategies like physical self-care and learning from good mentors. This is certainly a step in the right direction. But from the perspective of analytical psychology, you haven't done enough to go within to understand your own individual psyche. It is likely that working on your emotional intelligence through DBT will deepen your self-awareness. But, at this early stage, there is no way for me to predict if it will "close the gap". If you care about understanding yourself better, be willing to take your therapist's reflections and inquiries as deep as you can go with them.

[broodwolf221]

mythal, flemeth, or flemythal?

my opinions on this incredibly complicated woman. nothing here is like... hard canon i can firmly prove, i'm just extrapolating based on what we see (mostly in dai tbf)

i don't even have a super strong read on what her deal is, these are just some of the thoughts i'm having about her tonight

note: this is NOT character hate and if u add character hate to this post you WILL get blocked. but i'm not softening her either - she is pretty fucked up and i'm not going to ignore that

cws: abuse

flemeth and mythal

flemeth: a (human?) woman who was betrayed, whose love was killed

mythal: an elvhen woman, an evanuris, who was killed by her family

when mythal was killed she found her way to flemeth because they were similar. something in flemeth drew mythal to her. there's a lot of options here, although i tend to think it's their shared personal histories and experiences that drew them together, particularly their shared pain. they bonded in some way, some physical manner of becoming one, inseparable, inexorably connected

early on, they might have been more distinct. sharing a body, but still with an individualized sense of self. however, i believe that over time that separation became smoothed, blurred. it's like how very wounded people can sometimes come together and find resonance in their shared experiences, a sense of familiarity, and let it go too far. into the territory of codependence, but so extremely literal in this case

maintaining their body

i'm not sure how they manage this. the way i see it, there are two main options, with a lot of branching details:

body hopping through her daughters, or

literally any other way

#1 is of course possible, but i don't tend to lend it a lot of credence. but let's say it's true, and that what flemythal tells morrigan in the fade is true, that the hosts need to be willing. in that case, her daughters - throughout centuries - would have had to consent to having their selves taken over to host their very complicated mom. i can buy that some of them would have consented; maybe flemythal twisted them into feeling like they had to perform a function, that they had a fate, a destiny, and then revealed what it was. but all of them?

perhaps some did deny her. maybe she forced them to accept - threatened their loved ones, maybe - or else gave them up and started again with a new child. but it's still a lot of finding a new body throughout a massive period of time. it just doesn't feel very likely to me

so, that brings us to option #2. there are many particular ways this could go - the men she brought home and drained, perhaps they sustained her single body, flemeth's original body, that she has always worn. perhaps she uses blood magic, or elvhen magic, or elvhen technology, or- like there are a LOT of possibilities

but i also think #2 is more likely because that would mean the grimoire was a total lie. and why would she lie to morrigan in that way? perhaps because morrigan was curious, intelligent, inquisitive, and flemythal had to throw her off the truth? so she provided a horrific lie, let morrigan "discover" it, let her live in that horror, all the while it just... concealed how she actually continued her existence. give morrigan an answer that was appropriately awful and horrifying so she'd think she found the truth, because it fit what she thought she knew of her mother. and if she found her answer, then she'd stop looking for the real answer

that feels more in line with flemythal's character. she's very much a chessmaster, positioning people throughout the centuries. which leads me to my next point...

flemythal and feelings

first off, i think that both flemeth and mythal have suffered abuse at the hands of people they lived with, perhaps people they loved. i think in both cases that led them to being closed-off, cynical, and self-centered

in the case of body-hopping, i think she would have developed a very thick skin regarding her children which would limit - or even eliminate - any real feelings she might have had for them. if she doesn't body-hop, i still think she'd be tempted to keep herself apart, and in either case she enacts some of the abuse she(/they) were subject to

in the body-hopping scenario, she's used so many of her daughters, in some manner or other. but in both scenarios, she's existed so far beyond a normal mortal lifespan. if she did care about people, she'd inevitably see them die. again and again and again

both mythal and flemeth were abused by the people around them (in mythal's case she was literally killed by her family - the fact that it didn't take is intriguing, but doesn't lessen what they tried to do to her or the emotional toll it would take)

so all this is to say... i don't think she'd really care about mortals. maybe she did once, maybe not; maybe she's too mired in her pain and anger to care about anyone else, or maybe she's lost too many people she did care about and hardened herself to avoid more suffering

but yeah, idk if she cares about morrigan, or about kieran, or even necessarily about solas, although with him if she's scared of losing the people she cares for, he's safe. but if she's just closed off, then it wouldn't matter that he's (possibly/presumably?) immortal as well

she fascinates me. we know so little that's absolutely beyond a shadow of a doubt true about her - and we know that some of what was presented in-game as truth turned out to NOT be. flemythal is keeping secrets. she always has been

and final note: the line to morrigan about a willing host, about her never being in any danger from flemythal... that could've been her referencing her own act of coming together. perhaps the only willing host in their entire joint history was flemeth herself

[fandomfluffandfuck]

Hi Sir, do you think Sebastian has a Daddy Kink. Y’ know considering his past, and the situation with his biological father. I know you have written about Sebastian calling Chris “Daddy”, but I mean it more as in, do you think he maybe has Daddy Issues, and therefore calls Chris “Daddy”?

I sent in the “Daddy Kink ask” and thinking about it more, I realize how disturbing (towards you and Sebastian) that may sound. I swear it wasn’t meant like that. I’m just a very curious person. So feel free to just delete the ask if it makes you uncomfortable!

Hey, sweets!

No, but I actually like this ask because I feel like this general idea is A Thing in both the vanilla world and the kink world, I can't and won't put words in your mouth specifically, but I have noticed generally that people tend to pair the idea of trauma and kink.

Definitely, there's the stereotype that kinks are born from trauma. Which, yes, is true in some people. However, it's not the overall rule. Then, the myth that all kinks come from trauma can then extend into the stereotype that all people with kinks are "broken" or "fucked up" in some way. Fucked up by said assumed trauma. Also, of course, this isn't true.

But, with that being said, personally, I have noticed that there's is some correlation between people who look outwardly fucked up (or, as my parents would say, "scary") in that they're tattooed, pierced, or have alternative aesthetics that stray from the "norm". My idea for that correlation is, well, hey, if you're not going to fit in with mainstream society in one way, then you might as well not fit in, in all the different ways that you feel. Why pretend? Why not just fucking go for it? (That's how I feel. I mean, I also am just... like that. Genuinely. It's not a conscious link for me a lot of the time, trauma -> aesthetic -> kink, I just see where they bleed into each other. It just so happens that I fucking love kink and I love metal music and I love body art and I love the gothic/emo/alternative/whatever you want to call it, aesthetic.)

Although, at the same time, as paradoxical as it is, it's niave to think that how you're raised and what your parents are like doesn't shape how you go into your relationships and your life. I'm paraphrasing, but as Chris once said, your parents shape how you love. They teach you how to love (x). You can absolutely outgrow that basis, but it's also a basis.

Anyway, where am I going here?

All this is to say that I have no idea if Sebastian has daddy issues. Granted, I also have no idea if Sebastian has a daddy kink. I don't know Sebastian.

Not everyone with daddy issues will have a daddy kink, and there are plenty of people with daddy kinks that don't have daddy issues. (At least, they wouldn't consider themselves to have daddy issues, looking specifically at how the Western world expects fathers to act when raising children. Personally, I think most people have issues based on that, but I also recognize that based on my life experience... I'm probably just being cynical, lmao.)

And for Sebastian, I don't think it's about trauma or issues. I think it's about power dynamics. I think it's about the general idea of daddy. The biggest, the best, the most capable, comforting, and caring yet stern, too. We've all seen how easily Seb crumbles with praise, and I think, related to that, Sebastian responds so well to having someone telling him what to do in the soft-but-still-authoritative role. That's what gets him in my mind.

Also, it's worth pointing out that I don't think it would go back to his biological father for Sebastian because he wouldn't've known his biological father as "Daddy" because it would've been the Romanian equivalent for the English affection name for a father. He might've been encouraged to call his step-father that, but, eh, he was older by that point, so it's unlikely in my mind.

All in all, I have no right to speculate, really. Seb's a real person, a real person I don't know, so I don't know, and I won't ever know either 🤷🏻‍♂️

[bisluthq]

Nat I need some advice, from you or anons. I had a professor last year on a gender studies class that I loved and I didn’t really get to properly say goodbye to her the last day of class because I was in a rush, but I feel like she’s had a big impact in how I see a lot of things and I have wanted to let her know. I only have her work/university email so would it be weird if I write her an email telling her that or do you think she’ll appreciate it? I don’t want to be a weirdo and I feel like too much time has passed now (the whole summer) so it might be weird. There were a lot of people in the class that were clearly not interested and she made comments here and there about people who paid attention and I knew she was referring to me, and she later on told me that when I approached her at the end of one of the classes. So I want to let her know that she made a mark and her class mattered? She said that she had a better paying job before but that she chose teaching because she liked it and she was always talking about how important she believed that class was. I know that if I ever saw her in person she would appreciate being told that, but I don’t think I will and I think an email telling her that could be weird? Thoughts?

I love getting emails from past students! A summer is not long at all, she definitely remembers you. Tbh I’ve had people email me a few years later and say something nice and I always remember them - obviously after a few years, you might not remember a rando student who got a C but actually after a summer you tend to even remember them if you marked their work, and if it was a very engaged student then… yes of course she’ll remember now and in a few years too and it’ll mean a ton to her. It’s always super nice.

also the cynical side of it is if you’re wanting to later get recommendations or go into postgrad, that kind of stuff - reaching out to lecturers you had who mattered - is gonna be super useful. I actually met with some past lecturers for coffee on campus towards the end of undergrad (didn’t super force it but did that right - told them I liked the class and what I liked about it and sometimes asked them to read a piece I’m working on) and they were always very nice and wrote my letters for postgrad because they knew me better than “girl in class, did well, didn’t seem especially interested” yk?

[astradyke]

This is very parasocial of me but I feel like I've always gravitated towards dan because I do find him more chaotic yes but also because of how similar I think he is to me. From his cynical view of love in this modern world while simultaneously being such a hopeless poetic romantic, to the way he approaches uncomfortable situations, but also his perfectionism and how sometimes indulging yourself in a bit of "fun" might not seem as "productive" even if you're making money. My current job for example is so fun! And so well paid but I know it's not what I wanna do and ultimately feels like a waste of time. Like I'm "above it" almost..he's kind of a snob too, which same. I think their relationship just gives me so much hope, that it is possible to have sth so healthy and beautiful even if you struggle with depression and insecurities (I'm sure he's better now!! Me not so much but I'm working on it). Ultimately I do know that we're all doomed and they're brands not just people and this is their job but they truly do make me happy and hopeful! And dan is so dear to me..I just wanted to share and you felt like the safest space <3

hi, i appreciate you sharing this :') historically i have found myself to be more of a 'Phil' to other people, as i tend to stray from cynicism and be more of an optimistic manic pixie dream type (lol) to my close friends' cynicism and pragmaticism. but lately i have been thinking about Dan a lot -- Basically I'm Gay may not have sunk in at the time, but having grown up and reached a point away from my own queer trauma, re-examining his experience has been really illuminating for my own journey. i ultimately don't think i relate that closely to either of them, but it's been interesting to see those overlaps.

anyway, i am so glad you not only derive joy out of their content but also hope. Dan and Phil have such a beautiful love story but they are far from the only people capable of having that kind of genuine love. Dan especially, as you've articulated here, has been so vulnerable with his own struggles against the ideas of perfection, and productivity, and happiness. his journey resonates with so many other people who have had to battle that same thing. and it all led him here, where he is not only to be loved so fiercely by someone who truly does adore him like he hung the stars in the sky, but he also has a love and respect for himself.

it makes me incredibly overjoyed to know that their content makes you feel happy and hopeful; Dan really is such an incredible inspiration and i really value his vulnerability so highly. you have your own journey to go through, and it's a beautiful one because it is yours and you are a beautiful person who is going to figure it all out, y'know? whenever that happens to happen for you.

it turns out i am incapable of writing short replies to literally anything, but i am sincerely thankful that you shared this with me. i hope i didn't overstep <3 have a lovely one anon.

[vaultofcobaltandjade]

Man, as controversial as it is, I love love love thinking about Ashton's anger/rage/disdain towards the gods. Mainly because, as anarchist punk as it comes off, it also reads so clearly to me as an orphan's anger.

The anger of "My parents abandoned me" (doesn't matter if it was voluntary or not, their fault or not), so

"Wtf gives you gods the right to call yourselves our Father and Mother, to call us your children? Wtf makes you think you can do better than the parents who abandoned me to die?"

and

"Wtf gives you the right to have that inherent power over us? Just the fact that you created us, like actual parents? Wtf gives you the right to punish us and lord over us for eternity and pick favorites out of your children to reward and spare while others suffer cruelty?"

and

"You abandoned us too. You never answered my or my friends' prayers growing up. You've barely helped my current group. You didn't save FCG, even when he begged for it in his final moments."

and

"Why tf should I trust you all? (My first source of trust and safety in this world was cruelly ripped away from me.) Wtf have you ever done to gain my trust or respect or loyalty or faith?"

and

"Why tf shouldn't I hate you all who claim to be my creators, when half of you already hate my very existence as a mortal and the other half likely hate me for embodying a remnant of your past enemy (the original people of this planet that you completely killed off after arriving here)? When you and your followers destroy anyone who might oppose you?"

and

"Why tf would I want to be 'adopted' into your family of faith, when all I've seen is how fucked up it is? When you would toss us 'children' away for your siblings in a second?"

and

"You know, I realized how much unnecessary, unconscious power I was giving my parents, even in their absence and abandonment, and I reclaimed that power and took responsibility for myself. So why tf do you all still get to hold that same power over me, power that's impossible to escape?"

I mean, if my very first memory was of my parents dying violently in front of me and then a priest of some untouchable deity came around to my orphanage with the message of "Feel the Mother's Embrace" or "Feel the Father's light," I might also be cynical and resentful of anyone claiming that they're my creator and will take care of me forever. As much as I also love, say, Percy's story of revenge and redemption and forgiveness over his family's deaths and Fjord's story of finding father figures and a divine Mother figure to make peace with, there's something so resonant for me about Ashton holding onto their rage over that first cruel tragedy, as misdirected (or not, we don't know if the gods could've intervened before or during the fatal ritual) that it may be. It's messy and ultimately unhealthy and not easy to hear or think about, but so is being orphaned.

Now, obviously, I see this as a case of "actions speak louder than words" here. Disregarding Ludinus and his whole BS, I seriously doubt Ashton would even try to carve their own independent path towards the gods' downfall or banishment unless there was a way of doing it without casualty. I'm sure he's very aware of the stakes and mortal lives that could be lost, and if not, he's got the Hells to remind him. But not taking action doesn't just magically erase the anger, and not talking about the anger to anyone just tends to make things worse.

[kohakhearts]

Shionne - 9 + 21? 👀

coming to this super late but thanks ollie!!<3

9: could you be roommates with this character?

honestly...probably not LOL. though of everyone in the cast, she and rinwell might be the most tolerable roommates tbh - they tend to keep to themselves, but shionne is a bit on the passive aggressive side at times so. yeah. on the other hand, maybe she would cook for me, that would be nice :p i could stand a little passive aggression for that

21: if you're a fic writer and have written for this character, what's your favourite thing to do when writing this character? what's something you don't like?

oh man, it's been a minute. i mean the easy answer here is "projecting" lmao, but i think i can be more specific than that. i guess something i like about shionne is that she's simultaneously kind of an open book and...kind of not. she's someone whose emotions and beliefs are huge and overflowing, but she tries very hard to force them down. so i like exploring that, like her intense need for control, even when it kind of...screws her over. the other side of that is, i guess, as important as i think it is for her to have the opportunity to give up that control and let people see her for who she is, i don't think she would 180 here. even post-game (or just after her confession, even), she retains a lot of sarcastic sense of humour and some of her more cynical beliefs. so something i don't like i guess would be changing her too much. she can be a bit more open and willing to express herself without losing her bite, y'know??

character ask game!

[myopicry]

Just popping in to say that I saw your post about the struggles of having healthy discussions about feminism on here (and other places) and just wanted to say that I relate!! (especially with the last ask I sent which you replied to with much eloquence as always)

But I think there's still some interesting discussions being had on different sides, and it's honestly amazing when we think about the mere concept of communities online, especially for things like feminism. I mean hell, I owe tumblr so much despite everything! I found your blog, for example :3

Don't despair!! Take breaks whenever you want to, hell you can disappear off the surface of this site if you'd like (tell me first tho >:!). History generally tends to lean towards progress, I believe. We will all be okay!

(sorry this was unprompted and unsolicited but I couldn't help but butt in lol)

Yours truly, 🪼

you are really too kind dear jellyfish anon lolol and the message is absolutely welcome, this is a great message and reminder!

I find myself somewhat oscillating from incredibly hopeful and cherishing the world to incredibly nihilistic about my own life and the progression of my generation, probably because despite my best efforts I still do not touch nearly enough grass to be mentally consistent, but you do make a great point and it's a good way to view the world !! I get pretty cynical about the internet sometimes, that might just be a side effect of being raised on it unfortunately. however, as you say, it is pretty dang incredible that we have this portal to a vast amount of knowledge, thought, and communication at our fingertips. it would be a shame to not explore it and take advantage of the unique kinds of interaction and community that it is possible to maintain online. and I suppose the more people who stay hopeful about this digital future, the more likely it is that it will be possible.

I never thought I'd get any kind of attention on this blog (well, I hoped I would get a little attention, that is what social media is for and it is a very human instinct to be noticed by our peers lmao) but I'm just happy that there's even a handful of people who get something out of my less hinged often-written-in-a-dark-room-at-ungodly-hours rambling. and of course, I'm always happy that there are so many people (anon included, of course!) who share their own thoughts and wonderful, thought provoking writing.

I've been thinking lately about how I often encounter male writers/bloggers/artists with opinions and writings and art that might go against the status quo, or wax philosophical about their own struggles and the state of society, and they get the glory of praise and large platforms and funding, while many of the most personally engrossing female thinkers I've found are hidden in secret blogs, forums, or web archives. it is quite sad too that men are afforded the luxury of being philosophers and great thinkers and are allowed to be flawed, complex, or controversial while still being respected in academia and public discourse, whereas women pushing new ideas or discourse are expected to placate and honor men and the status quo of femininity or else they're shunned and hidden in the public eye completely. but what I value is that with some dedication and the willingness to explore new ideas online, I can still find these women and find the interesting things they write and make, even if they're not pushed by some all-consuming algorithm or if they're forced to make their own spaces in the expansive online world. I'm glad that there's always a possibility to find something valuable amongst a sea of terrible things (because the internet is certainly quite full of terrible things). which, I guess this is also just how life works in general. a lot of terrible stuff, but the beauty of it is that some hope in finding the gold hidden in there is always possible.

aaaand that got weirdly philosophical at the end lmao. I guess I do just like to hear myself talk sometimes :p

to tl;dr though, lovely lovely ask I really appreciate the sentiment and the message, and I'm more than happy to get a little infusion of hope in my inbox! thank you so much for stopping by again as usual (and I look forward to seeing you again soon ヾ(＾∇＾) ) !!